The Hug Rule (EP.245)

So, let me be the first in this conversation to say it: I love you.

The Hug Rule (EP.245)


The Hug Rule:

It takes four hugs a day for survival,

Eight hugs a day for maintenance, and

Twelve hugs a day to thrive.

That is the subject of today’s 10-minute episode. 


During these COVID days (daze), I am falling below the survival level. But the no-hug COVID days will eventually be behind us. Will the division bordering on hatred also recede? It does seem to be growing. 

In the 1969 British romantic drama film “Women in Love” one memorable scene has two men wrestling physically, and apparently emotionally as well. One of the men asks the other, “Why can’t men say ‘I love you’ to each other as freely as women do?” Dang good question. And, just perhaps, women should be more free with verbal expression of love as well.

So, let me be the first in this conversation to say it: I love you. BTW, hugs are not only an expression of love, but can lead to beginning to learn to love another, and to further bind that love. 

Practically every religion on earth commands us to love one another. When asked which is the greatest commandment, the Christian New Testament depicts Jesus paraphrasing the Torah: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,” before also paraphrasing a second passage; “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”

Islam is similar: “The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, ‘You will not enter Paradise until you have faith and you will not have faith until you love each other. Shall I show you something that, if you did, you would love each other? Spread peace between yourselves.’”

Love in Hinduism is a sacrament. It preaches that one gives up selfishness in love, not expecting anything in return. It also believes “God is love”. Picking up on the God is Love theme in the Christian Bible, John 4:8 and 16 state that “God is love; and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

Buddha teaches about love in a way that speaks very clearly to some of the great issues of our day. “In true love, there’s no more separation or discrimination. His happiness is your happiness. Your suffering is his suffering. You can no longer say, ‘That’s your problem.’”

We’ll close this section with Confucious reflecting on one of the great truths that is becoming more and more evident in our world. “It is easy to hate, and difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.” 

One of the core Revolution 2.0™ beliefs is that Life is hard–as it should be. Perhaps Confucius will subscribe–from wherever he is…:). 

And a piece of enduring wisdom from a friend: “When you hug your children, never be the first to let go.”

From “The stress-reducing effects of hugging might also work to keep you healthier. In a study of over 400 adults, researchers found that hugging may reduce the chance a person will get sick. The participants with a greater support system were less likely to get sick.”

And from “You know in your heart that a warm, close hug feels good to the core. But did you know that it may actually have health benefits?  For starters, there’s evidence that a hug — such as from a partner, a loved one or a friend — may help tame daily tension, ease our worries and even help us avoid getting sick.” Take that, COVID!

We have heard from Jews, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and followers of Confucius–and respected health organizations. Love and hugs are crucial to our healing, to our coming together. Let’s close with some thoughts from the Beatles from their “Come Together song:

Come Together

One thing I can tell you is

You got to be free

Come together, right now

Over me

You can feel his disease

Come together, right now

Over me

‘Cause he’s so hard to see

Come together right now

Over me

Come together, yeah

Come together, yeah

Come together, yeah

Come together, yeah

Come together, yeah

Come together, yeah

Come together, yeah

Come together, yeah

Come together, yeah

Yes, let’s come together right now in love. And with at least 12 hugs a day.


As we get ready to wrap up, please do respond in the episodes with comments or questions about this episode or anything that comes to mind, or connect with me on Twitter, @willluden, Facebook,, and LinkedIn, And you can subscribe on your favorite device through Apple, Google, or Stitcher.

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Will Luden, coming to you from 7,200’ in Colorado Springs.

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    Will, I am sending you a virtual hug… You are so SPECIAL, God Bless

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